Saturday, November 6, 2010

Comparing Children

By nature I am a competitive person.  Thankfully I am also pretty compassionate.  What I find challenging is not comparing my child to another child.  I love parenting books, however, do they sometimes create an unnecessary competition?  I have heard it's common to wonder if something is wrong with our child if they are not crawling, walking, or talking by a certain time.  So we tend to push our children sometimes to the point of tears.  In some ways I think encouraging them and teaching them is good but when it comes to comparing them to our friends' children or a child in a book it is not. 

I love having friends with children close to my son's age.  I do not, however, like the comparisons that go along with it.  I have one friend who has an older yet smaller child than mine.  A new family who moved to the area committed on how much bigger my child was than hers and that it looked like my son ate her son's lunch.  I was insulted.  Not that I'm worried about my son's size, I think he's the perfect size for him, but that a stranger would point out an obvious difference in our children and make both of us worry.  Is her child really too small?  Or is my child really too big?  This happens with older children and sadly eating problems can form from this because the children understand what someone else is saying about them.

My main point, however, is not about a comment someone made about my child several months ago.  But rather it's reflecting on my self.  I think it's natural to want a healthy, smart, and beautiful child.  Thankfully that is what most people have.  But just because your child is not walking at 8 months does not mean she is behind.  Children like adults have different temperaments and personalities.  There is a range of normal milestones each child reaches.  Instead of pushing our children to be more like another child we should give them love and help them grow at a healthy pace for them. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...