Follow-up doctor's visit

I'm sharing this with you in hopes that I can help or encourage someone who may experience something similar to mine.  This is also helping me with the grieving process.  There are typically two types of personalities, those who really grieve a miscarriage and those who don't.  I am one of those who is having a difficult time and writing is the best therapy for me.  As a caution, if you don't want to read about my miscarriage, please stop here.

Today I went to the follow-up doctor's visit with my original doctor.  He of course saw some tissue and wanted to do a D&C.  We asked him what the pros and cons would be.  He said I would stop bleeding and in 10-12 days could try again - apparently you spot for 10-12 days after having a D&C.  I asked if I didn't stop bleeding how long would I bleed for.  He said he didn't know.  My other doctor (2nd opinion doctor) said last Tuesday that usually early miscarriages result in bleeding a little longer than a regular period.  She said maybe a few days longer but not much more than that.  Also she didn't think I needed a D&C. 

The doctor asked how things were going and I told him I went ahead and got the RhoGAM shot because of the risks of not getting one.  I'm RH-negative.  He acted offended because I got it.  This made me mad.  For one, the midwife at the hospital Sunday wanted to give it to me then - she sees lots and lots of pregnant women and women who miscarry.  And my old doctor said the positives far outweigh the negatives and didn't see why I would not get it.  We asked him why he thought I didn't need one.  I don't think he understood my question because he said the embryo has to implant.  When I asked him when this happened, he said he didn't know, it just depends.  This seemed very odd since we saw the embryo a week ago - a white line in the sonogram.  Did he forget?  What he lying then?  Also, I researched it online and the embryo implants at conception.  I was 6 weeks pregnant and conception by a doctor's definition happened 4 weeks ago.  Since I am RH-negative, I have read quite a bit about this.  When I first started bleeding last Saturday I knew I needed to at least get to the hospital for the RhoGAM shot.  You are supposed to get it within 72 hours of bleeding, a miscarriage, or giving birth (if your child is RH-positive and if you are RH-negative).  My old doctor was very good during my last pregnancy and since I didn't have any bleeding I got it at around 28 weeks and after I gave birth.  My son is RH-positive so that was a good thing I got it!  Most people are RH-positive, thankfully.

Going back to my appointment.  One thing I didn't like was this doctor seemed uncomfortable when we asked him questions.  That I do not like.  If I have a question about my health, I'd like an answer.  If they don't know, that's okay.  I honestly don't have a lot of questions.  But before I undergo anesthesia and have my insides scraped out, I want to know if it's truly necessary.  Two other OBGYNs have told me that a D&C is not necessary this early on, one German and one American.  Every time I have been under anesthesia, I get very nauseous and throw-up. It also takes me a while to feel like myself again.  This was one huge reason I did not want an epidural when I gave birth to my son - if something had gone wrong, then of course I'd get one and I don't look down on anyone who has one.  For me personally, I work better when I'm aware of the pain.  Strong medicines have a strong affect on me.  Sadly, I usually wait too long to take something. For example, when I get a headache it usually turns into a migraine because I wait too long to do something about it.  So my method is not always the best.  

I ended up NOT getting the D&C.  My husband and I talked about it a few minutes in private and decided not to.  We'll be in the States soon so I can have a follow-up visit there. If there was an infection or I was further along, I would probably get one.  I'm not against them if someone has a miscarriage, I am just against having a surgery that I don't feel is necessary and for me personally, I didn't think in my case this was necessary. 

It wasn't but a few hours later that I had a little more heavy bleeding and then all of the sudden it pretty much stopped.  I have had very light spotting this afternoon/evening - which is exactly what my other doctor said would happen.  I'll find out in a few days if it stops.  My other doctor wants me to come get my hGC levels tested next week.  She called me yesterday with Tuesday's lab results and said they were still kind of high.  I may take a pregnancy test first, if it comes back negative, which it should, then I think I'll wait until the States for any further testing.  Pregnancy tests are much cheaper than lab tests.  

This past week has been one of the most stressful and saddest weeks of my life.  I'm a pretty optimistic person and don't ever expect the worse to happen.  I truly hope I don't lose that.  I like being excited about birth and life, even if it means a very hard fall if/when things don't go how I had hoped.  Pregnancy to me, should be a time of joy, not worry and constant fear.  I read 1 in 8 women have a miscarriage.  If you've had one then you have a 25% chance of having another one.  That means I have a 75% chance of having a healthy, beautiful child if we are blessed with a future pregnancy.  Praise God! 

I want to say thank you to everyone who has sent emails, messages, and called me.  I appreciate the encouragement and comfort.  You have given me hope that having a healthy baby is possible after a miscarriage and the strength to continue on.  And no, I don't think I will go back to this doctor.